Purpose


I saw this on Pinterest today & repinned it for myself.  I love everything about it.  And its all true about my house... that is until you get to the part where it says, "There is ALWAYS love & laughter here."

My kids went over to Grandma's house today & threw a particularly large fit (all 3 of them) when I showed up to take them home.  No "Hi Mommy!" Just all out screaming, tears & temper tantrums.  After I wrestled each one into their car seat straps, I cried the whole way home.

I'm not a very fun mom.  I feed my kids healthy food, make sure they have consistency & structure in their lives, teach them to pray, read the scriptures every night with them, bathe them daily, brush their teeth, dress them, do Alexa's hair every day, try to keep the house clean, try to limit their tv, try to teach them to be good people, I kiss them a lot, I hug them a lot, I tell them I love them many times every day.  But I'm not very fun most of the time.

I keep getting this nagging feeling that I'm missing something.  But when I think of letting some stuff go & trying to do more FUN stuff, I feel like my life will unravel.  All of my kids are still very dependent on me.  I stay home but I do work from home & I also watch some kids to earn extra money.  I exercise almost every day.  I bake all of our own bread.  I coupon.  I have a busy calling at church.  Things keep getting pilled up & I feel like if I let go, it'll all come undone & my life will be unmanageable.

Most everything I do all day is an expression of love for my family in one way or another, but I think some of the things I'm doing out of love won't really be remembered by my kids.  I wish I were the fun mom.  I want to be more fun.  I know its possible because I have friends who really do do it all.  I'm just no good at it.

Am I making my kids' childhood a "good one"?  I just don't know.

Comments

Andrea Dent said…
Um, I feel like you could have written this post from MY heart. I can't tell you how many days & nights I've cried because of the exact same thing. Especially this past year as I've sat and watched my children literally watch hours of movies just so that we can make it through the day :) You Alisha, are amazing. Your kids adore you, that is for sure. When you came to pick them up a few weeks ago they cheered as you drove into the driveway. There are times and seasons that allow us to do different things. No matter what, there is one thing they WILL remember...that they are loved. The Lord takes care of the rest. You inspire so many of us, and there are SO many qualities I admire in you...including being a "fun" mom. My kids would die to go on the fun playdates & day trips you do. You are fantastic! Pray for that peace, and you will find it my friend :)

Wow, sorry for the long post! My heart has been full of the same feelings, so thank you for letting me get a little out!
8:12 PM
LeslieK said…
Ditto Andrea! I don't feel like a fun mom at all either. I guilt trip myself all.the.time. To be honest, I don't even remember if my mom was fun or not. I do remember things like her packing our lunches in elementary school and remembering how each kid liked their sandwich. Things like that are how I knew/know she loves me. I think it's really important for kids to feel loved, and I think you are doing a great job of that =)
8:42 PM
Anonymous said…
I love you, Alisha! And I think you are amazing, loving, giving, talented... and FUN! Your kids love and adore you and they know that you love and adore them... that is really all that matters in the end. If it makes you feel any better, I think we all have the same guilty and inadequate feelings... it comes with the territory of being a woman and a mom. I know I feel like that everyday. Hang in there and know that you are amazing! ((hugs)) to you my friend.
8:54 PM
The Oldroyd's said…
Love that! It is so true. I always have a struggle between a clean house or having fun. It is hard, because at times I feel like a failure as a wife and home maker, but when I spend my time just cleaning I feel like a failure as a mother. I try to keep a nice home for my family, but family is really all that matters. Thanks for sharing that.
10:52 AM
Carrie said…
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself! Your kids will remember all your hard work, and they will appreciate it and love you forever for it. Hang in there!
10:16 PM
Whidget said…
OH PLEASE. Of course you're a fun mom. But here's my little secret. You need to take time to have fun with your kids, but mom's aren't there for fun. We are there to provide a stable environment so our kids can have fun lives. The dads are the fun-makers. But when our kids get hurt? They know to go to mom. I'm okay with that.

You're impressive. I don't do it all but it sure seems like you do! :-) I bet those moms you think do it all actually don't...
1:19 PM
Natalee H. said…
I remember school or church projects to show appreciation for parents and I was always so confused when my mom was upset by my paper that read "I love my dad because he is fun". "I love my mom because she washes my clothes" Oh the eternal, sad truth of those statements. My mom would ask if she was fun too, and I felt like she was asking if the sky was green. Sure I would tell the lady she was fun because I knew it was what she wanted to hear, but I did feel like she was being ridiculous because our house WOULD have fallen into chaos if there were two fun people running the show. This I knew as a six year old. I think this is why moms love being grandmas so much. They can finally truly be fun without the world ending.
6:39 PM
Court said…
Weren't you just telling me you take your kids to the zoo once a week? Sounds fun to me.

Ease up on yourself. I know for a fact that NO mom does it all. Because it's IMPOSSIBLE. Release the anxiety you have about your performance as a mom. Just roll like The 3 Amigos...relax and have fun with it.
10:11 AM
Benjamin Hunsaker said…
wow, you just wrote about me. I don't feel very fun either and I don't even cook dinner for my kids so they don't eat healthy. you're so great and it's good to know we're human and all have these feelings. that's satan making us feel inadequate again. you do what you can, teach your kids, love them and grand parents are supposed to be super fun! that's what we get to do in +20 years, right?
5:58 PM
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